Pulse
by x-Energy.Purple-x
Summary: One night is all it takes for everything to change... Chris Sabin/Alex Shelley *Explicit Slash!*
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, I have no idea where this idea came from, it just attacked me and refused to go away until it had been written!It's totally different from my normal style and ideas of writing, so I'm slightly nervous about it, but I'm proud of finishing it!**

**I don't own anybody who randomly decides to appear in this, but if I did...**

**Like it? Hate it? Please feel free to leave a review! All feedback and critique is very much welcomed!**

**This is a two-shot, and depending on how it goes down, I'll hopefully post up the second part to this sometime in the next couple of days!**

**Enjoy peeps! :D**

* * *

It was getting late.

As the last dregs of beer were drained from the bottom of the bottle, Chris could just about hear the sound of clock in the lobby striking midnight over the fuzziness that was settling thickly around his head. Normally, this was when his good friends 'dignity' and 'common sense' would tell him that he should call it a day. Wrestling with a hangover was way too much of a bitch to handle, and after almost faceplanting on the edge of the apron during tapings the last time he'd gotten himself completely shitfaced with Alex and Jay, he'd began to listen to his brain more often than usual. Tonight though, he'd superkicked those irritating little bastards in their imaginary faces and proceeded to drown them under an ocean full of booze.

Slamming the empty bottle on the bar next to the fast growing pile surrounding him, he caught sight of the bar tender; he attempted to signal for another round, but his co-ordination had clearly joined him in his drinking, and he only succeeded in waving his arms about him in some kind of vague gesture that clearly had no link to asking for another beer and more with making him look like a twat.

"Don't you think you've had enough to drink, sir?"

Chris scowled, rolling his eyes openly at the disapproving look on the bar tenders face, and he briefly debated throwing one of the empty beer bottles at his stupid, fat head. He wasn't a fucking child, and he didn't appreciate being treated like one by some asshole. He'd lost track of the amount of alcohol he'd ingested, and he couldn't be asked to call upon basic maths to add up the bottles, choosing instead to remain blissfully unaware until morning when he was guaranteed to have a very hefty tab waiting for him to beg his way out of, but he knew when enough was enough. It certainly wasn't then, and it most definitely wouldn't be for a while. Not after the day he'd had anyway.

"You're not paid to fucking think, you're paid to shut the hell up and get me fucking pissed. Now get me another fucking bottle before I kick you in the head."

Chris really didn't give a flying fuck about his choice of words; the carefully crafted mask that he prided himself on keeping had shattered under the drink, and he didn't want to feel the rawness of the emotion beneath it, so his first defence was anger. Alcohol fed that anger, and although he knew he'd probably regret it in the morning, at that moment he didn't give a shit about what he had to do to keep that fire burning. The bar tender opened his mouth as if to say something, but shut it again, raising his eyebrows in a condescending fashion. This only served to aggravate Chris even more than before. Reaching under the bar to grab another bottle, Chris practically snatched it from his hand, and he glared indignantly at the guy, mumbling 'stupid cunt' under his breath slightly louder than necessary as the bar tender walked off to deal with the other people scattered around.

Tonight wasn't about having to deal with anyone else. It wasn't even about having a good time. Tonight was purely for the sake of getting smashed enough to erase the past few hours. He didn't give a shit what anyone else thought. After the tapings, he'd simply packed his bag and fucked off to the bar alone. He didn't really want to be alone, he didn't even really like being alone, it was something he normally avoided at all costs; but tonight, he just wanted to drink himself into oblivion without someone else hanging off his arm. He'd had a few texts from Alex, demanding to know where the fuck he'd gone and why the hell Chris couldn't be bothered to wait for him to sort himself out before disappearing, but he'd turned his phone off and thrown it in his rucksack with the rest of his gear. Alex could go fuck himself, he thought petulantly, and so could everyone else.

Another beer was downed within minutes. The agitation rolling off of him in waves was growing, and the fucktard of a bar tender certainly wasn't helping it, but he'd be damned if he was going to stop. Three more empty bottles quickly joined the pile on the bar, and he briefly paused to let the dizziness in his head calm down slightly, his throat and his liver screaming under the heavy abuse. The room was spinning pretty damn fast now, but it still wasn't enough. Beer became Vodka shots, the haze getting heavier and heavier in his mind as his sour mood grew more and more. Tightening his hold on the glass in his hand, he leaned forward to grab at the bar tenders arm as he walked past him, gripping the man's wrist hard.

"Hey asshole, where the fuck is my drink?" Chris' acidic words were starting to slur and his eyes were glassed over more than they normally would be, even if he was stoned. The bar tender prised off Chris' fingers calmly, obviously use to the bastard actions of drunken idiots.

"Sir, I'm refusing to serve you anymore this evening. Your behaviour is becoming unacceptable, and if you continue, I'll be forced to call hotel security to escort you back to your room."

As the bar tender went to walk off, Chris saw red, and the last of his control broke as his pent up anger boiled over. Picking up a bottle cap from beside him, he flung it hard at the back of the man's head. "Don't you dare turn your fucking back on me when I'm fucking talking to you, motherfucker," Chris seethed, "Get your fucking cunt ass back here and get me another damn drink, or I'm gonna smash you in your stupid fucking face."

As Chris continued to launch a torrent of abuse at the unfortunately placed bar tender, he just caught sight of two large uniformed men approaching the bar in his peripheral vision. He wasn't at all surprised when he was unceremoniously pulled from his stool, and he lashed out angrily when the security attempted to remove him, his feet flailing randomly in the hope he'd kick one of them square in the balls. After a couple of moments of fierce struggling, he could feel a hand grab his ankle to restrain him better as, with much effort, he was carried out awkwardly into the lobby, hurling a constant stream of obscenities at anybody and everybody who was unlucky enough to be in the near vicinity. He didn't give a fuck how much of a scene he was making, or even about how childish he must of looked being dragged out of the bar, he was just angry that his plans to get completely shitfaced had been thwarted by some stupid bastard. He didn't give a shit about the consequences; he'd just had enough of today, and by the looks of things, his night wasn't going to end up any better.

* * *

Alex hadn't even taken two steps into the hotel when the sound of Chris' heavily intoxicated tantrum hit his ears, and as the bar doors swung open with a barrage of slurred insults, he physically and mentally face palmed at the scene before him. He couldn't help but admit that an extremely large part of him was maliciously amused at the sight of Chris being dragged – well, half carried – through the hotel lobby, literally kicking and screaming in his obviously inebriated state. Chris had already done enough tonight to annoy the fuck out of him, and when he stormed out of the locker room during tapings without any thoughts of waiting for Alex, it had pretty much been the final straw. It had pissed him off something chronic, and he'd spent the better part of a good couple of hours trying to hunt him down so that he could let Chris know it.

But then he'd found out.

He'd only assumed it to be the typical idle gossip that seemed to form some aspect of practically every conversation amongst the Knockouts and the lower card, and usually he deemed that sort of nonsense beneath him; well, that was unless he was the one who'd started it. However, it was only when he saw the stupid slut and one of the many nameless faces backstage with his own two eyes that he'd realised what had obviously happened, and that what he'd dismissed as a mere joke wasn't even remotely close to that at all.

Whilst he was still angry as fuck at his best friend, and whilst he still intended to let him damn well know about it, he'd become concerned.

Chris wasn't one to show any form of emotion, and he most certainly wasn't one to wallow pathetically in self pity; Chris had always been one of the first guys to rip a hole in anyone who acted like a pussy because of something. That mask of Chris' was damn near fucking impenetrable, even to him, but he knew that it had unwillingly well and truly cracked tonight; whenever that happened, Chris either got very drunk, or very angry. When he'd heard from AJ that Chris had driven back to the hotel in a majorly foul mood, he knew almost instinctively where Chris would end up, and the sight that greeted him after he'd walked the distance from the Impact Zone had confirmed his suspicions.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he rolled his eyes at Chris' sheer stupidity as he continued to fight furiously against security, although even he had to admit that a small part of him was impressed with the creative genius of many of Chris' grossly garbled slurs. As Chris grew more bad-tempered and unsurprisingly aggressive, he realised that it had probably just about reached the time when he should step in and protect his bastard best friend from something worse than just a hangover to look forward to in the morning. Shaking his head in a weary sort of fashion, he approached the struggling guards, his previous hostility with Chris' actions temporarily being shoved on the backburner in favor of saving Chris' ass for what felt like was approaching the millionth time in his life.

"Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on?"

The security guards regarded Alex's presence with something close to gratitude. Chris, however, looked less than impressed as Alex stared down at his jerking body, telling him in no uncertain terms to fuck right off before he got kicked in the skull too. Alex clenched his jaw tight to prevent himself from saying something he'd regret later as Chris continued to make an idiot of himself, instead turning his attention to the guard at Chris' legs who looked to be rapidly losing his patience with the drunken twat.

"Guys, I can take him from here. He just needs to get his bitch ass some sleep, then I'll make sure he learns to behave himself in fucking future."

Chris swore indignantly as he was dropped very unceremoniously to the floor by Alex's feet, and Alex had trouble restraining him as he swiped out viciously at the rapidly retreating guards, his arms wrapped tight around Chris' waist. The volume and vulgarity of Chris' slurs only continued to increase as he kicked his heel back hard into Alex's leg, angrily trying to remove himself from Alex's grip, and Alex could feel his own animosity come flying back as he hauled Chris' drunken form across the lobby towards the elevator; he figured that the faster he got Chris back to their room, the less likely Alex was going to be to lose his notoriously short temper and beat Chris senseless for his stupidity.

As the lift doors slid open, Alex pushed Chris in with barely contained malice. At that precise second in time, he almost couldn't give a shit about the ungrateful fuckers situation, and when Chris lunged forward spitefully, he grabbed his wrist, using his own momentum to pin him up against the wall of the elevator. Twisting Chris' arm behind his body, Alex pressed his elbow hard into the base of Chris' back, blocking out all the incensed insults his friend was screaming drunkenly at him as he dug his chin firmly into Chris' shoulder, using his slight weight advantage to try and hold Chris still as he continued to wriggle about childishly.

"What the blue fuck do you think you're playing at, you stupid cunt?" Alex snarled, his unnaturally seething voice actually making Chris wince slightly as he stopped fighting for a brief moment. "Are you trying to fucking get yourself fired, shit for brains? Do you honestly fucking think that this is going to make things any fucking better?"

"Fuck you asshole, I never fucking asked for your help or your fucking opinion! Now get your fucking hands off me or I'm going to break your fucking face!" Chris shouted back just as venomously as he renewed his fierce struggle for freedom, but he quickly stopped again when Alex pulled his arm further up his back, making him hiss.

"If it fucking wasn't for me, you'd be up fucking shit creek right now, so shut your Goddamn fucking mouth and stop making an asshole of yourself!"

"Make me," Chris spat out viciously, but his words ended in a muffled gasp as his face was pressed hard against the elevator wall, Alex twisting his arm far enough up his body that he was actually in danger of dislocating it if he continued to struggle.

Alex was usually pretty laid back regarding whatever shit Chris decided to get himself into - hell, half the time, he was right beside him, either encouraging him or running the fuck away when their plans were found out. However, this wasn't the time for pleasantries or jokes. Alex knew that he was probably only exacerbating the growth in Chris' bitchiness, but he really didn't give much of a shit; he'd taken the brunt of Chris' anger before, and he knew it would happen again, so he wasn't scared of throwing it right back at Chris when he fucking warranted it. It was tough love really, and if he had to treat him like a child to get him to calm the fuck down, then he was prepared to do it, even if it was only on rare occasions.

Alex could hear Chris' slow, deliberate breaths, and he steeled himself for the next round of fighting that Chris was inevitably planning for, but just when it got to the point that Alex's body tensed in anticipation of a struggle, the elevator came to a stop. As the doors slid open, Alex released his grip on Chris' arm to let him pass. He wasn't at all surprised at the glassy glare he received, and when the slurred stream of abuse began to hit his ears again as Chris shoved him aggressively with his good arm, he rolled his eyes before forcefully pushing Chris in return, although with more restraint than he'd been showing him for the past few minutes.

As Chris stumbled backwards into the hallway, Alex stepped out in front of him, grabbing his wrist before he fell straight onto his ass, and pulling Chris into him. He didn't really like the idea of Chris potentially beating his face in, but the half way concerned part of him didn't like the idea of leaving him on the floor, no matter how tempting it was to him. Despite the fact that Chris deserved to pay for being an absolute cunt all day, Alex knew the reason why that was. And yeah, whilst he was still pissed off with him, and yes, he didn't really think the selfish bastard should get away with it, the simple fact of the matter was that Chris was obviously hurting. Alex hadn't seen him this drunk and angry in years, and he could tell just by the rawness exuding from Chris that his iron mask had completely shattered, and that what had been exposed underneath was something that Chris almost desperately didn't want to deal with.

Wrapping a muscular forearm awkwardly around Chris' waist, Alex could feel Chris continue to fight against him; however, with only one arm willing to co-operate with him, and his futile exertions beginning to take its toll on his energy, it was a lot less spirited than previously, and Alex knew that Chris had reached the point of letting his downright petulant sulking do the speaking for him anyway. Alex didn't mind the new found quiet actually, because he would've gone insane from Chris' insensitively loud and drunken screeching if he'd continued any longer, and he revelled in the opportunity to actually hear himself think for once.

Dragging Chris down the corridor towards their room, the sheer volume of alcohol that Chris had consumed at the bar was quite noticeably starting to get to him as he leaned more and more into Alex's body in an attempt to counteract his piss-poor balance. Chris had obviously thought that giving up his fruitless fighting, whilst somewhat of an ego deflator, was the slightly better situation than sleeping on the floor in Frankie's room like the last time he'd pissed Alex off, Alex had concluded. Whilst that usually would've been more than enough permission for Alex to indulge in some well deserved mocking, he decided with great reluctance that his teasing would have to slide; Chris was already going to have enough to deal with once Alex had screamed and shouted at him for being an asshole and then tried to help him like he supposed a good friend would do, so his merciless ribbing could wait, even if just for a little while longer. Alex was actually beginning to stagger himself from the added weight pushing against his ribs, and he was grateful when the duo finally reached their room, watching with spiteful amusement as Chris slumped against the door frame precariously whilst he took the key card from his back pocket, before unlocking the door and swinging it wide open.

Blindly fumbling for the switch just inside the door, the room suddenly flooded with bright light as Alex took a step forwards before turning his head to stare questioningly at Chris. Upon realising that the stupid prat was in actually in danger of falling asleep against the door frame, Alex rolled his eyes in annoyance before wrapping his hand tightly around Chris' bicep and yanking him forward firmly. Chris tripped clumsily as he was dragged into their room, glaring at Alex indignantly before defiantly tearing his arm out of Alex's grip and making towards the bed himself. He was well aware of how much he'd unwillingly had to rely on Alex - hell, he knew that at some point, he'd end up having to chuck a shitload of weed in his direction as thanks for getting him out of some serious explaining - and it had irritated it him more than it really should have. It was probably just the booze, but he was determined to show Alex that he didn't need his damn help as much as Alex thought he did. He knew that was a complete load of bullshit, but his currently raging drunk pride wasn't very accepting of the idea that he had to be dependent on someone for even a second.

Alex watched with a slight frown as Chris tossed himself vaguely towards his bed, landing with an unmanly huff as he buried his face deep into the pillow, and sensing the gradual change in Chris' mood now that he was in the security of Alex's company, Alex closed the door before starting towards the bathroom. After a few crashes of bottles and some rather colourful and pointed language to compliment it, Alex re-emerged, the box of Aspirin in his hand being placed on the cabinet beside him.

Other than wrapping his arms around his head awkwardly, presumably to block out the garish brightness of the light streaming down from above him, Chris hadn't moved at all, and he hadn't made much noise either other than some half hearted slurring that had been swallowed by the duvet beneath him. Alex briefly considered shutting out the main light, but then his resolve hardened. As far as he was concerned, he wasn't going to do shit for Chris' benefit until he'd given him some answers. Until that point, Chris could suffer.

"So, what the fuck was all of that shit for then, huh?"

Chris made absolutely no attempt at moving to face Alex, but Alex could hear the forced anger in his considerably quietened voice. "Now is not the time, stupid fuckhead."

Alex's eyes widened as he folded his arms across his chest, having to resist the urge to laugh sarcastically as a slightly disbelieving smirk creased his lips. "_I'm_ the stupid fuckhead? Pretty rich coming from the bastard who just got thrown out on their ass for pitching a bitch fit in the bar."

"Go fuck yourself."

"I mean it though jackass," Alex shot back as he took a step towards the bed, "You're gonna be in a shitload of hell tomorrow. I bet management are gonna have a fucking field day when they hear about this. Did you plan on getting suspended or even fucking fired anytime soon?"

Unrolling his arms from his head, Chris turned to face Alex. Despite the fact that he was visibly fighting to maintain his furious facade, the hollow resignation in his eyes was clear as day. His defenses were crashing down around him, and the spark of fear and realisation igniting in his glassy stare that Alex knew Chris way too well to miss was actually painful to witness. It was like watching his shell crack to unveil an agonisingly vulnerable centre, one that both men knew was being revealed very unwillingly. It felt horribly foreign to Chris, but he knew he was powerless to stop it happening; there was something about Alex's presence though that took away the edge of confusion and uncertainty, as if he knew that although the mocking was a given, Alex was the only one he had ever really trusted to reveal this side of himself to. As quickly as he made eye contact, Chris dropped it again, his voice sounding strangely empty and bitter.

"It's not like anyone would care, so it doesn't matter."

Alex was taken aback. That certainly wasn't something he had expected Chris to come out with, and he was genuinely left speechless for a few moments. It wasn't something that happened very often, but when it did, it always surprised him. Hell, it hadn't been the first time that Chris had left him lost for words, but there was something about this time that made it feel even more uncomfortable than normal for him, as though it made his concern increase. His brows drawing downwards, he found himself making his way over towards Chris, perching himself on the edge of the bed. His hand instinctively came to rest on Chris' shoulder, and when he caught Chris' gaze once more, the weakness that had been so deeply exposed for some reason made his heart ache to the point where he thought he'd stop breathing.

"Chris-"

"Fuck off."

"Chris, listen to me," Alex huffed out a sigh. He didn't like making himself feel like some sort of girl, and he'd decided that it would be another thing to add to his ever growing list of things Chris had done to him against his will, but he was pretty sure Chris would understand his reasoning once he'd suitably recovered in the morning. "I know what happened."

Chris visibly tensed, his shoulder stiffening beneath Alex's hand, and Alex sucked in a breath as Chris turned his face back down avoidantly, his silence speaking louder than his words ever could. So Chris obviously didn't want to talk about it, Alex had concluded, and although Alex was very sorely tempted to leave it that way, he couldn't stand the fact that he might be possibly leaving Chris to wallow rather pathetically. As much as it would usually entertain him under different circumstances, for some reason he couldn't bring himself to find any amusement in Chris' suffering for once. It just didn't feel right.

"Look dude, is it really worth fucking yourself up just because you got played over by some girl? I mean, normally when you get kicked on your ass by some slut, you're out picking up a rat by now. Why's this time so different, huh?"

"Because _normally_," Chris forced out rather bitterly, "you don't expect to walk into a locker room and see _your _girl being fucked by someone else and not even noticing when she's been fucking caught."

"Okay, fair point," Alex admitted sheepishly, although the drop in his voice betrayed his shock and surprise. When he'd seen Velvet backstage with one of the insignificant bodies, he'd assumed that all he'd seen had been all that Chris had seen as well; he certainly hadn't thought that there was the possibility of Chris catching sight of something more. For the second time that night, he felt that odd pang in his chest, and when he stared back down at Chris, it only increased in intensity. Even as the anger came back into Chris' face, it was so flimsy and fragile that Alex knew it was capable of shattering at absolutely any moment, and when that happened, everything that Chris was desperately trying to force back behind his continuously breaking mask would fall out whether he wanted it to or not.

Alex's hand slowly moved from Chris' shoulder to rest on the curve of his neck, and he could feel the steady beat of Chris' pulse beneath his fingertips as he let out a sigh, trying to mull his next words over carefully in his head. "But hey, fish in the sea and all that shit, right? And anyways, I'm pretty sure that you'd have more than enough volunteers who be very willing to bend over backwards to help ease you back into the life of a free man again," Alex joked, trying to ease Chris' tangible tension slightly.

When Chris didn't even crack a smile, Alex's concern only deepened further, and he furrowed his brows at Chris' silence. It wasn't like either of them to be quiet; most of the time, it was people begging them to shut their mouths for even 5 measly minutes so they could get a break from whatever nonsense they were spewing. Silence was practically a foreign language to the two of them, even when they were asleep, and there was something about the lack of words that made Alex feel uneasy. Nothing had ever hit Chris hard enough before that it rendered him speechless, and Alex had to admit that it wasn't something he cared for much. He didn't like the idea that he might not have any answers for whatever Chris was going to say next.

As the quiet continued, for some reason Alex felt weirdly and helplessly compelled to let his fingers brush gently over Chris' throat, and as his hand softly settled on the back of Chris' head, he couldn't help but be confused by his sudden compulsion to display even the smallest level of affection for his friend. Yet again though, Alex couldn't help but notice the fact that Chris hadn't slapped his hand away either.

After what seemed like an eternity, Chris let out a shaky sigh. "Maybe that's not what I want anymore." His voice was weak and filled with a hollow sobriety that almost made it sound painful, and if it wasn't for the heavily slurred edge tinging his tone, it wouldn't have even been guessed that the owner of the words had been the same one who'd kicked up World War 3 with a bar tender less than half an hour before. "Maybe I'm sick and tired of being strung along by girls who don't give a crap about what I think, or maybe I'm sick and tired of just being some interchangeable cock for them to use. I mean, for God's sake, I just wasted the past few months of my life on someone who hasn't wanted a fuck in over a month, but is more than happy to spread her legs for whatever random bastard takes her fancy. Have I really been reduced to the bottom rung on the fucking ladder that not even rats and sluts want me for more than 10 minutes before ditching me for another guy?"

The slightest crack could be heard in Chris' voice, and Alex knew full well that the mask Chris kept such iron clad control over had finally been reduced to utter tatters. The strain in his words as he trailed off had been just way too overwhelmingly obvious to Alex, and the agonised vulnerability it brought with it almost made it feel like he'd been punched in the gut. The floodgates had been lifted, and all of Chris' desperate attempts to keep the water from drowning him had been worthless. Alex felt like he'd been dragged along under the torrent with him, and he could feel every one of the emotions radiating off of Chris; the annoyance and anger for letting his mask slip, the fear and confusion he'd been trying to avoid at everything that had been revealed against his permission, but also the gratitude and relief that Alex wasn't currently splitting his sides at how much of a pussy he sounded.

The pressure of Alex's fingers against Chris' skull deepened slightly, and when Alex caught Chris' glassy stare once more, the sharp twinge in his chest returned, bringing a faint knot in his stomach with it as he basically watched Chris fall to pieces. Alex wasn't sure how much of it could be attributed to the sheer volume of beer and Vodka Chris had downed earlier in the evening, but he knew that he didn't like not knowing what to say when Chris was like this. Fortunately, Chris' defences never broke very often - in fact, Alex could barely recall the last time they had a few years ago - but that just made the rare times they came tumbling down intensely uncomfortable for him.

"Please, most women would kill to have a guy like you, and everyone knows it. You just obviously suck at picking the right lucky chick to be sharing your bed with."

"Not appreciated right now."

"Sorry dude," Alex smiled wryly, his voice softening considerably as he felt Chris slowly relax beneath his touch. As Chris' arm snaked out from underneath his head, his fingers unconsciously glided across Alex's thigh before his hand came to rest just in front of his face on the pillow, and Alex found that, for some unexplained reason, he actually had to swallow slightly before he could continue his train of thought. "But I'm serious though. There are so many people that would be lucky as hell to land you, and a lot of them aren't as unbelievably stupid as some of the women you've been catching recently."

Alex inwardly shouted at himself as he stumbled over what he was trying to say. He wasn't really the kind to be all cheesy and shit, especially with Chris; his direct and brutal wit wasn't naturally able to bend to sensitive girly shit, and even though him and God weren't really the best of friends, he was praying that Chris wouldn't use it as blackmail for the rest of their lives. Another uneasy silence fell over the room, and Alex could see that Chris was fighting to try and maintain what little shreds of composure he had left as he let out a deep huff of breath. Alex had to admit that the idea of slapping Chris upside the head for even talking like he was before telling him to snap the fuck out of it was becoming a slightly appealing route, but for some reason it wasn't the path he was debating on taking.

The thought had only briefly popped into his head, but Alex wasn't one to over-analyse shit, and although he wasn't entirely sure how Chris would react to any form of physical contact or friendly affection at this moment in time, he'd decided he'd rather risk getting a smack in the face than having to listen to Chris talk more bullshit about himself.

Twisting his body further so that he was almost facing Chris, Alex gave one more soft squeeze to the back of Chris' head before moving his hand to underneath Chris' shoulder. Chris looked vaguely suspicious and somewhat put out when Alex awkwardly attempted to pull him into an upright position, his body unhelpfully going limp. Chris groaned out in protest when the bright light flooded his vision again, and the dizziness swimming around his brain didn't seem to much appreciate whatever Alex was trying to do.

"What are you doing?" There was no heat behind Chris' words, only a tired and hollowed emptiness that made Alex's chest feel tight again. Once he'd succeeded in sitting Chris up, albeit with some muttered profanity about the stupid fucker's lack of co-operation, Alex could feel himself falter in his plan for just a few seconds, before he forced himself to continue, and he wrapped his arms around Chris in a hug. Chris stiffened up, and almost instantly began trying to wriggle himself away from Alex, but this just made Alex tighten his grip around Chris' waist.

"Seriously dude, it was either this or fucking gagging you, so stop being difficult." Alex half joked, and he failed miserably to stifle a laugh at the embarrassment that flushed Chris' reddened face before loosening his arms just enough to allow Chris to move. After a couple of minutes of complete tension on Chris' part, Alex could feel Chris visibly relax into him as he began to accept the contact, and Alex smiled when he felt Chris' arms creep around him tentatively to return the display of affection. Both men's arms tightening around each other as they deepened the physical exchange, Alex let his chin rest on Chris' shoulder, his hot breath bathing Chris' throat in warmth.

Alex's hand traveled up Chris' spine to rest on the back of his neck, and he suddenly became aware of how Chris' pulse began to speed up beneath his fingers in response to his touch. Alex abruptly realised that he had gotten an awful lot closer than he'd first intended, but found for some reason that he couldn't bear to break away from Chris, not when Chris melted into him further, his head leaning against Alex's. Alex knew that Chris' almost desperate need for affection was something that Chris had always ensured he'd kept padlocked behind that carefully crafted mask of his, but with his defences shattered, it was like Chris was craving the physical comfort, and Alex knew he was completely unable to deny Chris anything that he truly wanted at that moment. Alex had always found for some reason that he could never deny Chris what he wanted.

The longer Alex's arms stayed firmly wrapped around Chris' willing body, the more he could feel Chris' heart beat faster against his own chest, and for a split second, he couldn't help himself as he twisted his head barely enough to place a kiss on the curve of Chris neck. Chris' breath hitched in his throat, and Alex instantly realised the line he'd possibly crossed, but rather than yank himself away like he normally would of in that kind of situation, he felt secure enough to stay where he was for a little while more; he squeezed his arm around Chris' waist, and he knew he was in the clear when Chris returned the gesture without hesitation, his body warm and inviting as he moulded into Alex even deeper. When Chris let out a soft, wistful sigh, an almost sad smile curling his previously stoic face, Alex was content that he'd finally calmed down Chris' shit enough that he'd hopefully be able to sleep at least for a few hours before dealing with the bitch of a hangover he'd inevitably have waiting for him in the morning, so began to unwrap himself from Chris.

As Alex lifted his head from Chris' shoulder, he caught Chris' gaze, and the unparalleled depth and strength of the unguarded feelings that could be so easily read in his usually caged eyes made his stomach twist into that queasy knot again. Alex barely missed a beat though, and went to draw his arm back, but as he pulled it away, Chris' hand clutched his wrist almost convulsively, making him stop. Alex could practically feel the shiver that ran through Chris' fingers, and when Alex looked back up at Chris, he was taken aback by the cocktail of emotions warring across Chris' face. There was something about the conflicted confusion and helplessness in Chris' expression that concerned Alex, but just as Alex started to question it, Chris darted forward, connecting their lips in a frantic, needy kiss.

Alex froze in dumbfounded shock, unable to process what was happening. He could feel his brain starting to kick into overdrive, and his natural instincts were vehemently demanding that Alex push Chris away as hard as possible before knocking the fucker out for even thinking about pulling this sort of shit, but for some reason he'd found himself unable to comply, so he simply sat there. He was distantly aware of the hand on his wrist tightening its grip, but he couldn't focus on it, the thick waves of desperate emotion crashing from Chris as his lips pressed firmly against Alex's succeeding in stealing all of Alex's attention. It was just so raw, so powerful and intense, that Alex became immediately worried about how bad Chris actually was. He could feel the tremors running through Chris' fingers, almost like he was fearful of something, and Alex abruptly realised that he had to make Chris stop, but for some reason he found himself unable to bear the idea. However, less than a few moments later, the painfully tight hold around Alex's wrist was shakily loosened as Chris broke the kiss, slowly inching back from Alex's face. Blinking a couple of times to refocus, Alex let out a shallow breath, his eyes wide as he stared straight at Chris.

The silence was deafening, but the unspoken words that passed between them were as loud as anything either could have said. Chris' fingers were still wrapped around Alex's wrist, and Alex watched as Chris struggled to force himself to stare back, noticeably swallowing the lump in his throat as he did so. The second their eyes met though, Alex found he was unable to do anything but repeat Chris' actions, his entire mouth going dry. Chris' normally shielded gaze was now an open book, and Alex could almost feel his heart clench painfully in his chest at what was swimming in his glassy eyes.

Beneath the layers of panic and fear at what he had done, Alex could see the misery and despair that was reflected all too clearly, but it was the confusion and neediness that drew his attention most of all. Hidden deep amongst his worry, Alex got the distinctly visible impression that Chris was trying to stop himself from physically reaching out to Alex once more, and the look of pure hopelessness that flashed in his hazy eyes was heart breaking. All of a sudden, the knot in Alex's gut was overwhelming, twisting itself so damn tight that Alex almost felt like he was going to be sick. With each passing second, he could see Chris withdraw further into himself, and he looked so devastatingly weak and vulnerable that Alex couldn't stand it anymore. He felt like he couldn't breathe, just seeing the weight of the things Chris was practically begging permission for but knew he couldn't ask for in Chris' darkened eyes made his heart pound in his chest, and almost instantly, he could no longer deny the urge.

Reaching forward, he let his hand cup the back of Chris' neck in a reassuring sort of way, his other hand resting gently on Chris' thigh. He closed the gap between them slowly, allowing Chris the opportunity to back away if he suddenly changed his mind about what he wanted, but when Chris didn't, Alex took a deep breath to compose his growing trepidation before touching his lips softly against Chris'. His fingertips brushing his skin, Alex could feel Chris' pulse skip a beat in response, and he couldn't help but smile against Chris' mouth when Chris let his hand tentatively trail up Alex's arm and neck before clasping the side of his cheek, returning the kiss with just as much tenderness as Alex was giving him. Alex let his hand run up the inside of Chris' thigh before grasping his hip through his jeans, and when Chris sighed almost blissfully into the affection, Alex carefully twisted both of their bodies around on the bed, following Chris as he coaxed him encouragingly to lay on his back so that he didn't have to break contact for even a second.

As the moments passed between them, and their gradually boldening exploration of each other continued, Alex could hear that voice in his mind again. It was telling him that he shouldn't be doing this, that he was taking advantage of an obviously less than capable and emotionally defenseless Chris, and that it would only result in complete disaster in the morning; but as Chris' tongue probed at his lips, his thighs opening slightly to draw one of Alex's legs between them as his hands continued to run over Alex's throat and shoulders, Alex found himself being pulled further from his irritating thoughts. Chris' tongue sweeping into his mouth languorously, Alex found he could barely give a fuck about what might happen in the morning, only focusing on giving Chris the comfort and affection that he obviously wanted and craved. After all, Alex could never deny Chris anything he wanted.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So here is the second part! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed both here and on LJ, and remember that all criticism, feedback and opinions are very highly appreciated! After all, happy readers makes a happy and motivated writer :)**

**Unfortunately, I don't own either one of the Guns outside of my dreams :(**

**Hope you all enjoy, and thank you for your support! :)**

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The merciless throbbing that pounded through Chris' head when he attempted to open his eyes the next morning was painful enough to actually make him give a brief, yet deadly serious thought to the notion of never having another drink in his life, despite immediately knowing how much of a bullshit idea that was. The sunlight streaming in through the windows was sickeningly bright, and Chris groaned as he buried his head in the pillow as deep as he could without physically suffocating himself. His throat burned like hell, but he was genuinely quite surprised about the distinct lack of vomit he could taste in his mouth; maybe he wasn't totally fucked up, he figured warily, although the crashing in his skull was beginning to convince him otherwise.

Trying to shift around the bed slightly, Chris was almost in too much of a hangover induced haze to even realise there was another body curled up around him, and it wasn't until he felt uneven breaths brushing the back of his neck that he began to pay the blindest bit of attention to the position that he was in. An arm was wrapped firmly around his waist, his bare back bathed in heat as it was pressed tightly to the warm, sweat-slicked muscle of someone else's naked chest beside him. Legs were tangled with his own, one of them completely twined from thigh to ankle with his sleeping companions, and he could occasionally feel himself being drawn closer to whoever was next to him as their grip increased. A hand was splayed across his stomach, the fingertips tracing softly down the rivulets and dips in his abdomen as it unconsciously stroked up and down his skin in a lazy, soothing sort of way.

Despite his growing confusion, Chris found himself naturally leaning back into the touch; after the past couple of months, he'd forgotten quite how nice it was to have someone so close to him, and he wasn't ashamed to admit that he'd sorely missed this kind of intimate contact, so he sank back into the body with a sigh as he let his eyes close for a moment, trying to stop his head from spinning quite so violently as he tried to fall back asleep. Instantly though, his eyes snapped back open when the person behind him moved against him. There was something hard and uncomfortable stirring insistently against the top of the curve of his ass, and although he hadn't had much sex recently, he was fucking one hundred percent sure that what he was pretty damn convinced was now prodding against him wasn't something many normal women had.

Lifting his head out of the pillows, Chris forced himself to open his eyes in spite of his body readily protesting against the action. After blinking a few times to clear the spots from his heavily bloodshot vision, he twisted his head just far enough to so that he could look behind him, and he could barely contain his shock at the sight which greeted him. Alex's mouth was slightly ajar, but the roguish yet innocent smile tugging at his lips as his shallow breaths continued to hit Chris' neck was more than obvious as he slept peacefully, his arm tightening around Chris' waist. Chris could feel the rhythmic rise and fall of Alex' chest against his bare back, and as he turned further, Chris could just about make out what looked to be shiny spots dotted across Alex's flesh, and what was unmistakably several vibrant bites and bruises along the length of Alex's throat and collarbone. Visibly swallowing his apprehension and panic, Chris let his gaze roam down Alex's abdomen, before settling on his groin and the erection that was twitching against Chris ass, sticky drops of cum leaking from the head and smearing across the curve of his lower back.

Chris didn't know what the fuck to think. This was never a scenario he had ever pictured as even having a remote chance of occurring, and although he couldn't recollect a single damn thing of the night before, as he stared down the length of his body, the overwhelming evidence splattered across his own ribs and belly made him quickly realise what had obviously gone down. It wasn't so much the idea that he'd either fucked or been fucked by his best friend that was the biggest problem for him to wrap his head around though, but just the fact that he'd been so pissed out of his skull that he couldn't remember any of it. To his rapidly increasing fear, the only fragment he could pull from the throbbing haze in his head was kissing Alex, and as the image burned into bright focus, the dumbfounded and almost worryingly blank look he could picture on Alex's face was enough to make his already queasy stomach knot up. Just the sheer fact that he couldn't recall anything else after that point was enough to deepen his previously complex concern, and the possibility that he could've forced Alex, or even Alex forced him, into something that the other didn't want made his blood run cold. Chris couldn't reconcile himself to the idea that he might have potentially thrown his best friend and the best years of his life away for something he couldn't fucking remember.

"Fuck," Chris breathed out in almost panicked frustration, shutting his eyes as he buried his face back into the pillow beneath his head. Even trying to work out his thoughts was making his head throb mercilessly, and as the contents of his stomach roiled around, he had to hold his breath for a second to make sure he didn't have to flee to the toilet. As the moment of near vomit passed over him, he huffed out a deep groan, and he willed the suddenly violent pulsating in his brain to stop; it didn't of course, and he was almost quite thankful that Alex was still asleep. Alex had been less than impressed when Chris had blasted his mobile in his ear at 6am in the morning the last time he got incredibly drunk, and it was only after plying him off with the promise of weed that Chris was able to escape without a phone forcibly rammed down his throat; he'd always been on his guard since then whenever he got pissed, because he didn't put it past Alex to return the gesture and then some. Alex had always been a vindictive, cockheaded bastard in that respect.

Alex's body shifted behind him, the arm around Chris' waist tightening further as his hand continued to stroke softly across his abdomen and ribs, and as the sound of Alex's unconscious mumblings began to bathe Chris' ear and throat in heat, Chris let out a wistful sigh, a sad smile curling his lips. Normally, the random crap that Alex tended to spew in his sleep provided Chris with an endless source of amusement and blackmail, and he couldn't help but admit to himself that there had always been something quite inordinately calming about listening to Alex's voice - not that he'd ever dare to tell Alex of course; admittance of something that girly would be something Alex would hold over him without restraint until he fucking snapped and murdered him for it. This morning however, Alex's nonsensical rubbish only served to make his gut knot up painfully, and as his eyes caught sight of the clothes scattered around the room - although, even he had to do somewhat of a double take at what looked like his jeans wrapped over the TV - the weak smile slipped from his face, fading into a frown before disappearing completely as the possible ramifications of what had happened began to hit him further.

Chris became so fully absorbed in trying to unravel all the questions and fragmented images that whizzed around in his head that he almost literally jumped out of his skin when the alarm clock went off full blast in his ear, his brain feeling like it had exploded in his skull. The pounding migraine and nausea came back just as suddenly, and he physically had to resist the urge to batter the fucking thing to death as he buried his face back in the bed with a groan. He was just about reaching the point of lobbing it out of the window before throwing the world's biggest bitch fit when he could feel Alex stir groggily from his practically comatose state beside him. The hand stroking Chris' abdomen smacked about randomly against the covers, trying to reach the damned thing, and Chris could barely contain a laugh as he smiled briefly when he heard Alex's sleep slurred grumblings; Alex was the text book definition of a lazy fucker when he wanted to be, and was most certainly not a morning person either as Chris had discovered over the years. Whenever there had been a demand for an early wake-up call, Chris usually tried to keep as much distance between himself and Alex as possible to prevent the beating that would definitely happen if Alex got his hands on him.

As soon as the smile appeared, it was gone, and Chris found himself almost frozen in apprehension. He had no idea what the fuck to do, and there was no fucking way he was ready to even entertain the idea of holding a conversation with Alex about what had happened. After a couple of seconds, he did the only thing he could think of to buy himself more time, and pretended to fall back asleep, almost suffocating himself amongst all the covers as he tried to keep his expression and breathing as calm and steady as possible. He felt the bed dip behind him, and he was more than shocked and confused when he found himself having to fight to hold back a disappointed whine when the warmth of Alex's bare skin left his own, but he quickly reined it in as he felt Alex lean over the top of him, Alex's stomach pressed tightly against his ribs as the alarm was very forcibly switched off. Alex's hand had strayed down Chris' side to rest instinctively on his partially exposed hip, and Chris found it incredibly difficult to maintain his composure at the softness of Alex's touch.

The new silence in the room was deafening, but Chris was extremely thankful for it; if he'd had to listen to anymore noise at that precise second, he was convinced that his ears would have bled. Despite the sound of his own heart beat pulsing through his ears drowning out everything else, he could've sworn he heard what sounded distinctly like a heavy sigh from Alex, and then the faintest of mumblings to follow it. Chris couldn't make out any of the words Alex was obviously speaking to himself, but he focused all of his efforts on trying to maintain the mask of sleep - he figured if Alex had meant what he'd said for him, then Alex would've made damn sure that he'd either been awake or they'd been loud enough for him to hear them, regardless of whether he was asleep or not. Alex's hand drifted from the curve of his hip up to his ribs as the bed dipped slightly further beneath his weight, and Chris found his breath involuntarily hitching in his throat as Alex's fingers brushed further up his chest to skim across his collarbone and neck; for a brief second, Alex paused, and Chris thought he'd been rumbled, but then the heat from behind him noticeably disappeared as Alex got off the bed.

As the dull thud of Alex's footsteps across the carpet quietened slightly, Chris barely cracked open an eye, and he watched silently as Alex picked his way through the heap of clothes on the floor, before pulling out his boxers and putting them on. Chris could just about make out the slump in Alex's shoulders, and the way that Alex's hand would sporadically rub his lower back for a moment before falling back to his side, and he came to the conclusion of who was obviously on what end the night before; to his consternation, he was almost quite put out that he actually had Alex in his bed and couldn't remember what he'd done to him, but then Alex turned to face him, and Chris quickly shut his eyes again, finding it harder and harder to continue his feigning. A couple of seconds later, he heard the bathroom door being shut rather carefully, and Chris found himself being pleasantly surprised by the politeness that Alex was apparently showing him; Alex, being the inconsiderate asshole he typically was, usually went out of his way to make as much noise as humanly possible, especially when everyone else was still trying to sleep. Alex prided himself on his ability to be the most irritating bastard he could be, Chris had discovered very early in their friendship, but Chris couldn't help but be slightly grateful for Alex's sudden change of heart when his brain was still feeling like shit in his skull, so he decided not to question it.

Chris could make out the sound of running water coming from the bathroom, and he allowed himself to relax slightly; Alex's obsessive habits meant that he'd spend hours preening in front of the mirror until someone had to beat down the door and physically remove him, so Chris figured that he'd get at least a short while to try and work out exactly how to ask Alex about what had happened - or, failing that, pretend that this was all just a dream, and hope that he'd soon wake up to Alex lounging on his own bed, eating a bowl of Marshmallow Pebbles and watching some cheap porn he'd hunted out on the TV. Of course, he knew that was some pretty desperate and wishful thinking on his part, so he tried not to cling to that idea as much as he wanted to.

Turning onto his back for a brief moment, Chris stretched his arms above his head as he yawned, wincing at the series of pops that resonated through his shoulder and elbow. The disgustingly bright sunlight streaming through the window was hitting him square in the eyes, and Chris covered his face with his hands as he groaned weakly, trying to stave off the sudden wave of nausea washing over him; to be perfectly honest, he wasn't entirely sure whether his throbbing headache was due to his own drunken stupidity, or at having to face the prospect of possibly one of the most awkwardly difficult conversations he could imagine, but his chosen course of action either way was to roll back over onto his side and bury his head firmly in the pillow with a growl. He knew for a fact which one of those two scenarios was the most likely cause of his current physical state, but he seemed to like the fleeting thought that he could pin the blame for his own problems on somebody else for a little while.

A hell of a lot sooner than he'd been expected, Chris could hear the bathroom handle clicking, and he threw the covers back over himself almost childishly, schooling his features back into, what he hoped, was a half believable mask of sleep. Chris hadn't even heard the shower stop, and he very briefly chastised himself for his lack of attention, but then the door opened, and he stopped mentally berating him so that he could focus on trying to avoid Alex as much as possible.

It didn't work.

The bed dipped again by Chris' stomach, and Chris couldn't help but mentally curse when he involuntarily jumped at the sound of a glass and the slight rattle of a box of Aspirin being dropped onto the wooden cabinet by his head, and he knew the game was up when he could hear Alex's heavily sleep-tinged voice.

"Fucking hell Chris, whoever told you that you could act was obviously either a fucking terrible liar, or wouldn't know good acting if it kicked them in the balls. I know you're awake, dude, so you can drop your crappy ass attempt at amateur theatrics now, thank you very much. I mean, Christ, if I wanted to see an Oscar-worthy performance, I'd be watching tapes of me for God's sake."

The awkwardly forced chuckle that accompanied Alex's words made Chris realise almost instantly that Alex was in the same position as him regarding any real prospect of a typical conversation for them; Alex always had a habit of making himself feel more relaxed by reverting to his unbearably idiotic and egotistical nature, and it usually served its purpose of deflecting attention from the matter at hand. Chris had a feeling that this sure-fire method of control wasn't really playing ball this time though; if anything, it just seemed to highlight the issue that Alex was noticeably attempting to avoid as much as Chris himself was.

Chris bit down on his lip nervously as he lifted his head out of pillow, before twisting onto his back. The ceiling had never really looked so fascinating as it did at that precise moment in time, and although Chris' brain was screaming at him to stop being such a pussy, Chris couldn't quite bring himself to look Alex in the eye. He could feel Alex shift about restlessly beside him, and Chris instinctively knew that the wall he was temporarily shoving up between them to allow himself to think of what to say was obviously making Alex less than comfortable about the situation; he could tell by the way that Alex's shoulders tensed up slightly, and how his fingers kept fidgeting with the covers, that Alex thought he was either about to be on the receiving end of an incredibly violent ass-kicking, or was about to see one of his dearest friendships fizzle into smoke. As horribly uneasy as Chris felt about the whole thing, he figured that he at least owed it to Alex to not let his growing tension turn him into some uncooperative and stubborn bastard against him; after all, he conceded, Alex was the only one of the two of them who could probably actually remember what happened the night before.

Letting out a sigh, Chris reluctantly pulled his gaze from the ceiling and propped himself up on his elbows, his eyes staying drawn to the bed covers for a brief moment as he sat himself up to lean back against the headboard. The thick blanket had pooled around his bare waist, and the shiny dots and now visible crescent shape indents around his abdomen and hips were now more than easy to see to both of them, even though they weren't really as fresh and deep looking as the bite marks and bruises that decorated Alex's throat and collarbone; in his peripheral vision, Chris could see Alex absentmindedly rub his neck, but the sudden black haze that descended forced him to shut his eyes, and he groaned weakly as he covered his face with his hands, the throbbing headache making its annoyingly irritating presence felt as he unconsciously held his breath to stop the bile he could feel gurgling in his stomach.

He almost flinched in surprise when Alex prodded his thigh gently a few times, and he peered between the gap in his fingers questioningly to see what the fuck he wanted. One of Alex's hand went up to scratch the back of his head, and he gestured towards the cabinet vaguely with the other with a shrug before he faced Chris again, very reticently forcing himself to make eye contact.

"I kinda figured you'd probably need something. I mean, to be perfectly honest, after the amount of alcohol you downed, I'm more surprised that you're not either puking your guts up or fucking comatose still or something, but I guess that a killer headache probably feels worse than death right now anyways." Alex chuckled quietly, and Chris couldn't help but give the briefest of smiles as he shook his head slightly in silent agreement; he wasn't quite up to the idea of opening his mouth right now out of fear that what would come out wouldn't be words but something a hell of a lot more sickly, but he also wasn't sure he'd be able to maintain his composure if he tried to joke about, so decided not to say anything. However, judging by the faint half smile Alex returned, he figured that Alex was finally starting to let his guard down and feel a bit more comfortable than Chris had made him barely minutes beforehand, and he murmured a 'thanks' under his breath before popping out a couple of Aspirin and swallowing them down as best he could without making them come shooting back up again.

The slight clink of the glass being very cautiously placed back on the cabinet seemed to only emphasise the uneasy silence that filled the room, but neither man was willing to break it; the idea of trying to even start a reasonably civil conversation about the night before seemed tough enough, and the abject fear that one wrong word could see their friendship blow up hard and fast in their faces only made them more worried. Chris' eyes briefly caught Alex's again, but his nerves and growing tension made him feel so painfully awkward that he couldn't bear to hold Alex's gaze for more than a couple of seconds before it dropped to the bed once more. He could feel that barrier being shoved up between them again, and the way that Alex shrunk back in an almost defensive - and slightly scared, although Chris knew for a damn fact that Alex would rather beat the shit out of him before admitting to such, despite knowing how well Chris could read him - manner made him realise that the longer the quiet continued, the more the potential for anger and hostility could grow, and considering how fucked up Chris felt at that precise moment in time, he knew very easily how unattractive a prospect that would be.

After what seemed like an eternity, Chris heard Alex sigh deeply, his hand automatically going back up to scratch the back of his head; it was a classic sign that Alex was usually majorly uncomfortable with whatever was going down, and it also gave him the perfect excuse not to maintain eye contact, Chris thought to himself. Alex's fingers continued to drum lightly against the bed, and Chris became more than freaked out as his sudden compulsion to reach out and grab his hand to make him stop; he instantly squashed that thought, his head throbbing relentlessly to the point that he almost missed Alex start talking.

"Look Chris, about last night," Alex tried to make his voice sound upbeat and confident, and Chris didn't want to tell him that he was failing miserably as Alex's previous faint smile fell off his face. For some reason, just the choice of words and the way that Alex said them actually made Chris feel quite involuntarily sick as his stomach knotted up painfully tight. "I don't know why I did what I did-"

Chris narrowed his eyes at Alex suspiciously, and he supposed the images now running through his imagination weren't helping things, but he felt the briefest flare of anger run up his spine in a defensive sort of way. "What the hell do you mean by that, huh?"

Almost immediately, Chris could see Alex flinch back at the harshness that had unwillingly worked its way into his tone, and he had to force himself to take a deep breath; after all, the last thing Chris wanted was to get into one fuck of an argument with Alex and potentially see his strongest friendship - or his life - flash before his eyes whilst in this state. Swallowing his growing apprehension and fear, he built up the courage to look Alex in the eye, and the reflecting emotions that could so easily be spotted made it almost impossible for him to force himself to continue. "Alex, look I love you like a bro dude, and I just want you to be straight up with me here, because trust me, I know when you're fucking lying, and the last thing I want is for us to beating each others faces in right now." Chris could feel himself falter, and the slightly softened gaze Alex gave him made it so much harder for him to maintain his composure, but he pressed on regardless. "What exactly happened last night?"

And there it was. The awkward silence that fell over them was almost stifling, and Chris watched with baited breath as Alex began to squirm uncomfortably underneath the scrutiny. To be honest, Chris wasn't entirely sure whether or not he wanted to know what happened; a very big chunk of him was more than happy to remain blissfully unaware and let them both try to forget about it as much as possible. After all, alcohol had a very interesting way of screwing with his head, and he was pretty damn sure that Alex would laugh it all off as one of those acts of drunken stupidity and weakness once he'd ribbed him to death about it. Their friendship wouldn't suffer, and they'd go back to being as normal as normal was for them; well, at least, that was Chris' logic, but even now he could instinctively read the waves that Alex was giving off, and he mentally kicked himself for even trying to fool himself into thinking that this could be easily swept under the carpet.

However though, an even larger part of him was desperately wanting to know. The more his eyes roamed Alex's skin and the bites and bruises that covered it, fragments would flash through his mind that he wasn't sure whether they were his imagination or memories. As Alex cracked his knuckles absentmindedly, Chris could almost feel the ghost of Alex's fingers start to trail down his chest and abdomen, the slightly pained pleasure of Alex's nails digging hungrily into his hips and thighs; when he caught sight of Alex's tongue drawing across his bottom lip, Chris felt a shudder wrack his body as his cock began to twitch, and Chris found himself having to swallow down a moan at the vividly real image of those lips wrapped around the head of his cock, Alex's mouth so hot and moist as he sank down his length over and over. As quickly as the memory came, it disappeared again, and Chris came crashing back to reality with a jerk when Alex cleared his throat with a nervous chuckle.

"Well, what you'd kind of expect to happen - although, at one point, you totally turned vampire wannabe on me," Alex paused for a second, before crinkling his nose up rather childishly. "And you fucking fell asleep on me, and believe me, you're fucking heavy enough without being dead weight to boot. I swear at one point you was going to fucking crush me out of spite or something, because hey, we all know how much of a fat bastard you are when you want to be." Alex's hand rubbed his teeth-marked throat lightly to almost emphasise his words, as well as to try and break the uneasiness that was beginning to build, but the look on Chris' face highlighted the fact that Chris wasn't in the mood for Alex's humour, and Chris could sense Alex's growing apprehension as he forced himself to continue. "We made out, and things ended up going from there really. I sucked you off, you blew me, then you fucked me through the mattress," Alex mumbled, shrugging his shoulders in an attempt at nonchalance, but he failed miserably as he broke eye contact with Chris and shrunk back slightly, the tension now engulfing both of them becoming suffocating.

By this point, Chris was caught between the urge to piss himself laughing at how unbelievable Alex was being, or kick off and throw a full scale freakout that would put a toddler to shame. He definitely knew which one he preferred, but at that moment, he found himself being unable to do anything else but stare at Alex in dumbfounded and somewhat horrified disbelief, but he couldn't even rationalise what the fuck he was actually freaked out about; the fact that he'd gotten so damn pissed that he'd sucked and fucked his best friend without a shit for the consequences that would seriously bite him in the ass? Or the fact that the longer his gaze stayed frozen on Alex's every move - on every ripple and flex of his hand, on the way that the light coming through the window shone and cast shadows across his abdomen, on the beads of water that dripped from his still damp hair and glided teasingly down his throat and chest before being absorbed by the towel hung low around his hips - he found himself beginning to desperately wish that he could remember having Alex beneath him, completely helpless and moaning his name in the heights of passion.

The images chasing themselves through Chris' mind were so vivid that Chris found he almost couldn't breathe; his mouth went completely dry when he felt Alex's fingers rest on his knee, and the look of confusion on Alex's face made his pulse begin to pick up speed. Chris had always known that Alex was one attractive motherfucker - hell, every god damn person they'd worked with somewhere along the way had noticed; denying that Alex was hot was like hanging a neon sign above your head that said you either utterly blind, or that you'd rather do Flair for fucks sake - but he'd never thought, even when he was totally shitfaced, that he'd end up fucking him, let alone sit there and be envisioning ways that he could try and tempt Alex back into a similar position in the future.

The knot in Chris' stomach came back with a vengeance, but this time it had nothing to do with alcohol, and as Alex poked lightly at his arm, his conflicted concern deepening, it became so intense that it physically hurt. With a sudden burst of movement, Chris pushed himself off the headboard and swung his legs round so that he could sit on the edge of the bed. He was entirely focused on the action of locking himself in the bathroom and not coming out until Alex either left, or he'd been forced to break the door down; the urge to reach out and pin Alex to the bed, to kiss and touch him and bring to life the fragments of memories that continued to play behind his eyes was becoming quite a strong one, and he quickly decided that removing himself from Alex's presence was by far the best form of damage control. However, as he went to stand up, Alex's hand shot out and grasped his wrist almost painfully tight, and Chris went tense, unable to move even an inch as his felt the heat involuntarily crawl up his skin.

Alex stood up behind Chris, still gripping Chris' wrist; the waves of heat bathing Chris' back and the steady breaths that brushed against his neck made Chris' pulse almost skip a beat, and Chris found himself having to fight the overwhelming desire to lean back against Alex's chest. Chris tried to take a step forward once more, but Alex was still refusing to let go of him, and for some reason, Chris could feel another flare of anger shoot up his spine. It wasn't so much fierceness at Alex, more at his disbelief of what had happened, but at that precise second in time, Chris' real fear of giving in to his temptations and doing something he could end up majorly regretting meant that as much as his brain and body protested the choice, Chris needed to get Alex as far away from him as possible; if acting like a petulant fuckhead was what it would take to give him a little bit of breathing room and allow him to stop questioning his suddenly in doubt sexuality, then he didn't mind doing it.

Taking a deep breath, Chris turned around to face Alex, before ripping his wrist out of Alex's grasp and giving him enough of a shove that he stumbled backwards, the bed being the only thing that stopped Alex from falling square on his ass. The only half mocking glare that Alex gave him in return made Chris' heart clench rather painfully, but he pressed on with his retreat to the bathroom; fingers bit hard into his shoulder, and with a forceful yank that threatened to pull Chris onto the floor, Chris was spun to face an obviously less than happy Alex.

"Dude, what the fuck was that for?" Alex gritted out as calmly as he could, but Chris knew him well enough to see the dark spark in his eyes that suggested Alex was playing around with a good reason for not having smacked him around the face by now. Chris couldn't stand the idea of Alex being vengeful and angry at him at the best of times - they both prided themselves on their ability not to let their friendship be wrecked by a nasty argument or two, but even so, they usually threw together a joint effort to prevent themselves reaching that point all together; they both depended on each other too much to ever allow the idea of them being less than close friends to cross their minds - but in his scheme of things, he knew that even if it was just for a few hours, he needed Alex to fuck off and bug the shit out of somebody else.

"Gee, what the fuck do you _think _that was for, asshole?" Chris spat back sarcastically; for a brief second, the conflicted look on Alex's face almost made him falter in his plans, but he hardened his resolve as he pressed on. "What about for being a manipulative bastard, huh? What about how you fucking exploited our friendship for an easy lay? Oh, and of course, the total obvious of you fucking taking advantage of-"

Chris couldn't even finish his sentence before Alex's face drained of all confusion and filled with almost blistering despise for him, and Chris found himself pushed so hard against the wall that he thought he'd end up going through it. Chris' throbbing migraine returned, and as the air rushed out of his lungs, his stomach twisted so damn painfully that for a perilous moment, Chris was actually convinced he was going to be violently sick. In the time it took Chris to blink and feebly attempt to regain some notion of balance, Alex had closed the gap between them, his arm pressed across the front of Chris' chest and his other hand wrapped way too tight around Chris' wrist, pinning him hard against the wall. Chris found his breath involuntarily hitching in his throat as Alex leaned forward threateningly, his forehead almost touching Chris' as he continued to glare venomously at him. Just the look in Alex's eyes made Chris feel seriously sick with fear, and Chris came to the very sudden realisation that his efforts to get Alex to go the fuck away had well and truly crossed the line.

"Now you listen the fuck to me, you fucking cunt," Alex snarled so viciously that Chris instinctively froze, "What makes you think that I fucking took advantage of you, huh asshole? I never did anything that you fucking didn't ask for, so why don't you get your fucking head out of your ass and stop acting like I'm the fucking bastard in all of this! I didn't exploit shit! I was only doing what you fucking wanted me to do, so don't you fucking _dare_ start spewing shit about being all high and mighty and innocent in this, because you fucking reached out for me first! I never fucking took advantage of you last night, you stupid bastard, and don't you fucking forget it."

Alex's voice was so thick with bile that Chris had to resist the natural urge to sink back against the wall as far as humanly possible, but the gleam in his eyes had changed ever so slightly. Chris could read Alex easier than a book, and slightly dimmed spark was blindingly obvious to Chris; it didn't hold anywhere near the amount of rage and anger that it had done mere seconds before, and for a brief second, Chris almost became thoroughly convinced that Alex was pleading with him - not that he'd ever admit it of course, he valued his physical well-being too much to say anything to Alex and risk the world's biggest beating - but he quickly pushed his thought to the backburner when Alex pushed himself even further forward, hot and heavy breaths brushing Chris' face and neck, and Chris found any semblance of control flying out of the window at Alex being this damn close to him.

Chris' pulse was now thudding uncontrollably in his ears, and he could feel his heart and gut knotting up again at the thick waves of heat hitting what felt like every inch of his skin; Alex's thigh was unconsciously threaded between Chris', and their lower bodies were so tightly pressed together that with every breath either man took, their hips and groins would create the briefest of friction against each other that had Chris squirming so damn uncomfortably when he could feel his cock once again stir slightly at the teasing, if accidental, stimulation. It occurred suddenly to Chris that all he had to do was move his face less than a couple of inches and he could kiss Alex again, and he found himself having to swallow down his conflicted desire and helplessness as he tried to fight the urge as best as he could under the circumstances.

The silence in the room was absolutely suffocating, the only thing breaking it being the erratic breathing between them both. Chris was completely unable to tear his eyes away from Alex as he resisted his temptation to push himself as far into the wall and as far away from contact as he could, and he felt almost utterly helpless as he bit down on his lips nervously in a piss-poor attempt to calm down his racing heartbeat. He never saw Alex's fingers releasing their grip on his wrist until they ran gently down his side and ribs, the muscles in his abdomen tightening in response to the touch as Alex's palm pressed into the indent of his hip, Alex's fingers just barely straying into the thigh and groin territory, and Chris watched as the gleam started to come back into Alex's eyes once more. A smug, if somewhat knowing smirk curled Alex's lips, and Chris instinctively knew that Alex was planning something; that stupid, shit-eating expression of his usually signified that Alex was toying with the idea of some crap or another, and Chris found himself having to hold down a shudder that rippled up his spine. It wasn't helped by the underline anger that Chris could still feel rolling off Alex in thick waves from their confrontation.

By this point, Chris had had enough. The knot in his gut was becoming overwhelming, and his head was beginning to pound violently under the strain of all of the shit that had happened with Alex; he needed the clarity and reasoning that distance provided, and he fucking needed it now. Waiting for a moment when he thought he had captured Alex off guard, Chris worked his arms between their bodies and feebly tried to shove Alex back to give him some space; it didn't work though, and Alex's eyes narrowed in aggravation when Chris gave another push, his grip on Chris' hip tightening as he gave Chris a shove in return, pinning him up against the wall even harder than before. Leaning forward, Alex pressed his forehead almost menacingly against Chris' as he glared at him again. Chris could feel his own anger starting to kick in, but as he tried to twist his head away from Alex's, Alex's other hand came up to grip the side of his jaw almost painfully, effectively securing him in place.

Chrs' pulse began to race uncontrollably at the unreserved strength Alex was using against him, and as Alex shifted his leg closer, Chris could feel his cock continuing to twitch against Alex's thigh. Chris' breathing hitched in his throat at the look in Alex's eyes; there was a blackened spark of rage that continued to shine, but there was the faint gleam that flashed across his stare that Chris could have sworn he recognised from his own experiences as being the pure and unadulterated hint of lust. The lowest of growls that could be heard in Alex's breathing was making it impossible for Chris to concentrate on anything whatsoever except for the sight of Alex in front of him, and in that instant, the searing heat flooding through Chris' body exploded.

Wrapping his hand around the back of Alex's neck, Chris yanked him forward, smashing their mouths together violently in a rough and almost hungrily desperate kiss. It barely took a split second before Alex was responding just as viciously, and Chris gasped against Alex's mouth when Alex's hand tightened bruisingly around his hip and Alex began to rut against him relentlessly. Alex bit down hard on Chris' bottom lip spitefully, and Chris found that Alex's anger only fueled his own even more as he fought back into the kiss, his cock hardening insistently against Alex's groin. Alex continued to grip Chris' jaw painfully, and less than a few moments later, Chris felt Alex's thumb press down on his chin, opening his lips just enough to allow Alex to forcefully shove his tongue into Chris' mouth.

The naked aggression being created between them made Chris' brain explode under the heat, and the feel of Alex's uncompromising muscle pinning him hard and helplessly to the wall was only making him more and more needy; as their tongues continued to swipe and duel for dominance, he could feel Alex's straining erection beginning to prod against his own groin, and it made his control shatter further as they continued to grind their hips together, the sound of their harshly panted breaths and swallowed moans and groans ringing out throughout the room. The surge of fire that ran through Chris' blood was so intense that if it wasn't for Alex holding him up, he would've most likely to collapsed on the floor by now, and as he ran his hands down Alex's spine and began to grope Alex's ass hungrily through the towel still clinging to his hips, the way that Alex pushed against him further was suggesting that Alex was having the same problem staying on his feet.

Alex's hands greedily grasped at Chris' hips and thighs as Chris forced Alex's lower body into closer contact, and both of them became aware of their previous anger and hostility with each other beginning to dissipate and give way to their aching arousal and need. With each second that passed, the brutally punishing ferocity they were unleashing on each other was becoming more and more passionate, and soon, their rage with one another had been all but forgotten as their shared lust continued to spiral out of control. In that moment, all of Chris' reservations and fear about what had happened flew out of the window as he revelled in the feel of Alex's skin pressed against his own, and the intensity of the deliciously carnal pleasures swimming in his brain as Alex's tongue delved powerfully between his lips was enough to make him feel like he was going to pass out.

The sound of pounding at the door made both men jump, and they tore their mouths away from each other as they turned to stare in the general direction of the offending noise. Their uneven, heavy breathing echoed around the room, and with every hard gulp for air, their torsos rubbed against each others, the most sinfully tempting friction being made as their hips and groins continued to grind together. To their annoyance, the sharp knocks came back, and the indignant voice that accompanied them made Chris' head flop back against the wall behind him as he tensed up.

"Hello? Do you actually answer your fucking phone, or do you just enjoy being an asshole?"

Alex growled out a curse before turning to look back at Chris, and the almost pained look in Chris' eyes was enough to make his heart clench up like it did the night before. Alex's fingers splayed across Chris' abdomen, and they began to tease and stroke softly down the dips and rivulets in the smooth muscle; at the same time, Alex let his mouth trail down to the curve of Chris' neck, and he began to kiss and bite up the length of Chris' throat. Alex could feel Chris' pulse throb against his lips, and he briefly smiled when Chris instinctively twisted his head enough to give Alex more access to the sensitive skin, although it faded once more when the knocks got even louder and more obnoxious as Velvet began to shout childishly through the door, demanding Chris move his fat ass and get out there now.

Alex brushed his mouth up Chris' jaw, kissing the spot just behind Chris' ear. "Don't answer," the breathy whisper bathing Chris' skin was thick with heat and desire, and Alex felt the shiver run through Chris' body as he pulled his head back just enough to let him stare into Chris' lust glazed eyes. Alex could see the cocktail of emotions warring through Chris' features, and after what seemed like forever, a faint and tentative smile began to form on Chris' flushed face; Alex couldn't help but return the infectious affection in kind before he bent his head back down to resume laving attention on Chris' neck, and he smirked against Chris' skin when Chris' breath visibly hitched in his throat. The pounding on the door got more and more frantic until it suddenly stopped, and both of them could vividly imagine Velvet stomping her feet petulantly like the spoilt brat she was.

"Fine! Be that way, you stupid bastard! I don't fucking need you anyway, loser!" With one more kick against the door, the sound of her grumblings quietened as she stalked off down the hallway. Once they were confident that she'd fucked off, both of them huffed out a slight laugh in amusement; Alex placed a sharp bite in the curve of Chris' throat, and Chris' back arched slightly as he bit back the husky moan that threatened to be released. After one last grazing of teeth against Chris' skin, Alex lifted his head up to look at Chris once more, and he grinned at the flustered expression on Chris' face as he reluctantly unwrapped himself from Chris and stepped back.

"Now come on, you lazy motherfucker. Get your ass in gear, we've gotta be at tapings in a couple of hours. And by the way, you seriously need a shower because you fucking reek like a dead alcoholic, and considering how much maintenance it takes for you to make yourself look even halfway as good-looking as moi, I'd get a fucking move on if I was you."

That trademark smirk was on full display, and Chris rolled his eyes; shaking his head slightly to regain all semblance of control and balance, he pushed himself off of the wall with muttered utterances about how much of an egotistical diva Alex was before he took a step towards the bathroom. After a brief moments thought, a sly smile of his own plastered itself across his face, and he reached out towards Alex, before grabbing the edge of the towel that hung low around his groin. Giving it a tug, he pulled it away from Alex's waist, exposing Alex to his full view as he slung the towel over his shoulder. Licking his lips in appreciation of the devastatingly handsome body in front of him, Chris' eyes sparkled with a fleeting gleam of lusty desire as his gaze roamed Alex's muscled form hungrily, and as he made eye contact with Alex, he smiled deviously.

"Well, if you're gonna hog all the fucking towels like normal, then how am I supposed to get in the shower, fucktard?"

Both of them shared a smirk, and as Chris turned away to start towards the bathroom, he huffed out a contented sigh when he felt Alex's eyes boring into his back with matching fire that suggested he was half tempted to join him in the shower. For some reason, he had a good feeling about today.


End file.
